In Honor of Cambodian New Year - Status of Khmer Women

Cambodian woman are often compared to the celestial goddesses on the walls of the great temples in Angkor Wat. The pleasant smile and distant gaze are symbols  representing  water and purity… virtues that are responsible for upholding the family name.  But after twenty years of war, genocide and suffering both Khmer society and its people have redefined the roles of women in the Khmer culture.  These new roles have proven challenging in many ways and makes it almost impossible  to preserve the traditional identity as Khmer women.

Traditional Cambodian gender roles have relied on a unique concept of "gender equality" which is quite different from the "equality" considered by American standards.  Khmer women's roles and their behavior are connected to and greatly affect the status of their husbands, sons, and fathers.  As described in Khmer literature, the Khmer woman, must remain virtuous to uphold the image of her family. She is required to speak softly, walk lightly and be well mannered at all times. It is required for her to stay at home and serve as the caretaker and preserver of the home. A Khmer woman must be a virgin when she marries and be faithful to her husband after marriage, even though he is allowed to have extramarital affairs. It is assumed that if a wife is virtuous, the husband will not need to look elsewhere for happiness. A wife must be clever and wise bringing greater wealth and status to her husband.  Heavy consequences exist for women who disobey Khmer social standards.  Khmer women who are not considered virtuous are often punished by rape or end their lives in suicide from shame.

This traditional role is enslaving and has caused extreme hardship to women living in the new Cambodian social structure.  Many Khmer women, especially single mothers, have suffered through tremendous atrocities.  During the reign of the Khmer Rouge, women were often viewed as being less threatening to the regime and their lives were spared while they faced the death of their husbands, sons and fathers. Many continue to carry these painful memories throughout their daily lives.  Many of the widows believe that if they remarry it would be a betrayal to their deceased husband.  Even the women who try to establish themselves in the Cambodian labor market, lead lonely and celibate lives continually grieving for their husbands.  For the fortunate Khmer women whose husbands survived the war life can be even more difficult.  In many cases the husbands remarried and try to maintain both wives.

Khmer traditionalists compare a Cambodian girl to white cotton. A boy is compared to a gem. It is said that when white is soiled, it can never be washed to the purity and cleanness it once had. Gems, on the other hand, can be cleaned to shine brighter.  The atrocities of war, the violence and the hardship have made it necessary for women to take responsibility for their children, earn a living and become financially independent.  The male traditionalists feel that empowering women makes them dirty.   These men also feel  their own power has been undermined by the  new roles women are taking on.

Unfortunately, the women, caught between the responsibility of fostering the Khmer identity for future generations and finding their place within the new Cambodian culture are blamed (and blame themselves) for the re-shifting of gender roles.

Khmer women who are eager to take advantage of new opportunities have yet to gain the recognition from their communities. They find themselves alienated from family, friends and neighbors because they have lost the traditional traits of Khmer women. They are regarded as defectors if they remarry or even take a job. They are considered antagonists if they voice their opinions within the community.

Slowly women in Cambodia are emerging as an economic power within their society. Many younger women are realizing the task ahead is to rebuild their country.   They know they must eliminate the gender barriers in order to have a viable labor force.  Many younger women are trying to get an education so that they will be able to take an active and meaningful role in rebuilding their country. After twenty years, Cambodia is just starting to emerge from the depths of war and destruction with the Khmer women leading the way.